discouraged

Well, I'm feeling a bit discouraged the last couple of days. So far I have been soooo sure I could do this and it's not that I'm having second thoughts really, just feeling discouraged over the whole TTC thing. Mostly due to a friendly co-worker who meant well. I had seen a new physician back in September and discussed ttc with her and she was so supportive and didn't seem to think it would be a problem for me, even with my weight and chronic hypertension (well managed mostly with meds). I've had a bit of problem adjusting with my new med for BP but seem to be doing pretty well with it. I also am so excited about my plans to ttc that I do talk about it a lot, therefore have told many people from work etc about my plans and most people have been either supportive or noncommital. I had a coworker though on Saturday night who spent a great deal of time seeming like she was trying to discourage me. She pointed out that with my weight that I should figure on having to take an additional 12 to 18 weeks off work before I deliver due to hypertension or pre term labor, that likely my baby will be in the NICU with an uncertain outcome, the expense, stress of all this etc. She asked if I had considered having gastric bypass surgery before I get pregnant. When I had listened to her advice and statement that I should "do what I need to" and I responded that I still want to try but that if it doesn't work, I will start looking into the process of a foreign adoption. Then she proceeded to go on about how that wasn't the best idea, that she knew someone who did foreign adoption and got a child with severe health and mental issues and that the countries lie etc. Then pointed out how she just couldn't justify a foreign adoption since there are so many kids here in the US that need to be adopted. I tried to explain my reasoning for prefering the foreign adoption such as that I really want a baby and not a toddler or older child (long story there as far as why) and that at least with some of these countries, you can get them fairly young. She was telling me how great the foster adopt program is here and she got her foster daughter etc but admits that she could lose her if mom gets her act together and the state decides to give the baby back to the mom. I didn't think I could do that but she kept telling me that you just don't think of the baby as yours until you sign the papers making it so. Yeah, right. Like that's going to work. All I can see that way is a whole lot of heart break. Plus, the reason these babies have been taken away from parents is usually because the parents are on drugs. While I don't totally rule out a baby exposed to drugs in utero, it scares me since they just really don't know what the long term outcome is. So, after that whole conversation, I ended up feeling very discouraged and a little blue. I know that I don't need her approval and I also know that I will encounter people who disagree with my decision to have a baby either because it's wrong in their thoughts for me to be a single parent or because they think I'm too heavy or whatever. It still is really bugging me though. I do realize that it will be higher risk for me than for some others. However, there is no guarantee that if I lost a ton of weight that I would fare better or that my BP would resolve or anything else. I know that I may end up with a baby in the NICU but that can happen to people who don't have weight problems and there are people with weight problems who do fine. Besides, at least I know all the doctors and nurses in the NICU who would be taking care of my baby if it came to that. I also know what sort of things to expect with various gestational ages. So basically, I am more stressed now and need to calm down and relax and quit letting what she thinks of me affect me and how I think of myself and my plans. Yes, easier said than done.