I don't know if anyone noticed I had hid my blog for a while or not. I had a job interview a couple of weeks ago and decided that I didn't want to chance them searching out my blog. Now that's over and I didn't get the job so I can make it public again although honestly I don't know that I'm that much more likely to post here very often.
The job interview was in Sa*nta Bar*bara. That place I spent 3 months back in 2008 and LOVED! I was really excited for the interview and very disappointed when I didn't get the job (I didn't have enough experience, they told me to get some more experience and try in a year or two). However I find myself feeling a bit ambivalent about it. There were things I liked and things I didn't. I love the location. It's sort of a dream to consider living there. However it's seriously expensive. Yes I could afford it, but I will never be able to afford the amount of space that I have here. Basically I'd be paying double for less space. If I move there I can mostly kiss goodbye my dream of owning a long arm quilting machine as it's unlikely I will ever be able to afford enough space needed to have one. Also as much as I liked that hospital as a travel RN doing med surg I'm not sure what I think about it working NICU. Where I am now is a big unit. Big enough that we always (even at night) have at least an NNP and some residents available with a doctor close by. They don't have that. At night it's just the nursing staff. Which feels intimidating as it seems there could be a lot of liability issues. That part is scary. I like where I work. I like the resources we have and most of the people I work with etc. The unknown is scary. So, not only do I not know what is going to happen (will I try again in a year or so?) but I don't know what I want to happen which leaves me feeling uneasy.
School is still school. I finally passed statistics. I'm nearly done with another class and once that's over I have 4 classes left. Then I'm done and I truly don't think I will ever go back for any further degrees. I still really struggle with even wanting to do the work I'm doing now. I don't enjoy it, it doesn't feel like it's something beneficial. It feels like I'm jumping through hoops trying to get that extra letter added behind my name. That said, I don't want to end up stuck working in a nursing home ten years from now because I didn't finish this and I have 4 classes left. I should be done by the end of February. I hope.
That and my bankruptcy should be paid off in a little over a year and maybe then I won't feel so much like I'm under someones thumb and answerable to someone else. Or maybe I still will. I don't know.
Even with all the unknown, basically life is good. Sometimes frustrating and annoying but good. I have a lot I enjoy and a lot to be thankful for. Once in a while I get a twinge about not having children, then I spend a night at work with a screaming baby and think "Yay! I don't have one of these at home!!!"
The job interview was in Sa*nta Bar*bara. That place I spent 3 months back in 2008 and LOVED! I was really excited for the interview and very disappointed when I didn't get the job (I didn't have enough experience, they told me to get some more experience and try in a year or two). However I find myself feeling a bit ambivalent about it. There were things I liked and things I didn't. I love the location. It's sort of a dream to consider living there. However it's seriously expensive. Yes I could afford it, but I will never be able to afford the amount of space that I have here. Basically I'd be paying double for less space. If I move there I can mostly kiss goodbye my dream of owning a long arm quilting machine as it's unlikely I will ever be able to afford enough space needed to have one. Also as much as I liked that hospital as a travel RN doing med surg I'm not sure what I think about it working NICU. Where I am now is a big unit. Big enough that we always (even at night) have at least an NNP and some residents available with a doctor close by. They don't have that. At night it's just the nursing staff. Which feels intimidating as it seems there could be a lot of liability issues. That part is scary. I like where I work. I like the resources we have and most of the people I work with etc. The unknown is scary. So, not only do I not know what is going to happen (will I try again in a year or so?) but I don't know what I want to happen which leaves me feeling uneasy.
School is still school. I finally passed statistics. I'm nearly done with another class and once that's over I have 4 classes left. Then I'm done and I truly don't think I will ever go back for any further degrees. I still really struggle with even wanting to do the work I'm doing now. I don't enjoy it, it doesn't feel like it's something beneficial. It feels like I'm jumping through hoops trying to get that extra letter added behind my name. That said, I don't want to end up stuck working in a nursing home ten years from now because I didn't finish this and I have 4 classes left. I should be done by the end of February. I hope.
That and my bankruptcy should be paid off in a little over a year and maybe then I won't feel so much like I'm under someones thumb and answerable to someone else. Or maybe I still will. I don't know.
Even with all the unknown, basically life is good. Sometimes frustrating and annoying but good. I have a lot I enjoy and a lot to be thankful for. Once in a while I get a twinge about not having children, then I spend a night at work with a screaming baby and think "Yay! I don't have one of these at home!!!"
