Court

Court was quick, easy and relatively painless. The stress or nervousness leading up to it was way worse than the actual time in court. I was there about 30 minutes. I'm trying not to feel like a failure and instead to look at this as a new start.

The stress, PMS and heat here though have left me feeling more than a little bit drained. I came home today and instead of working on unpacking some more I've not done much useful. Oh well. The unpacking will still be there later. I've also stayed in the house most all of the day because 100 degrees just sucks today. Hopefully I will manage to get to bed early tonight and feel a bit more energetic tomorrow.

Catching Up

I'm down to 70 posts in my reader and of those all of them are those who have like 10 or more posts I haven't read. Soon I'll be all caught up. And I'm sure soon after that I'll be all behind again. Such is life.

My weekend was busy trying to get the old apartment cleaned up. I'm worried they are going to screw me on the carpet issue. It was old carpet when I moved in but my dear little Sara princess kitty who hates to dirty her toesies in the litter box didn't do that old carpet any favors. Hopefully it's not too bad.

I have court tomorrow for the bankruptcy. I'm sure it will be fine but I'm nervous anyways. I took the whole day off work though which will be nice. Work is ok. The drama with the co-worker seems have moved into the lets pretend it never happened so whatever.

I also managed to get some more unpacking done this weekend since I finished my book (second of 3 in a series) and can't afford to buy the next one until Saturday. Really really good books though. They have had me totally captivated. I'm really liking the new apartment and the extra space and having my washer and dryer off the patio. Nice to have them indoors again. I feel bad for Sadie that there is no yard at all but she's getting 2 pretty decent walks a day and doesn't seem to be complaining about it. Plus it's getting me out for walks which feels good. She had a seizure I think on Friday. It was while I was at work so I didn't see it but I came how to large quantities of puke which usually follow the seizures. When she first came back to me I wasn't sure how long she had been off her meds and money was an issue (still is really) so I didn't get her right back on the meds. I'll start tracking again now how often the seizures happen and then decide if she needs to be medicated. For a lot of years it was only once every 3-4 months and we could live with that. Then they started happening more often and then there was the seizure that wouldn't stop that landed her in the emergency vet overnight etc. I would love to avoid that again. So if they seem to be happening regularly I'll get her records from the other vet and take them to the new vet and get her restarted. It's not like she's difficult to give pills to and hell, everyone else in the house takes medicine, why not the dog too.

Otherwise not much going on. I promise I will get some pictures posted soon. Like when I find the cord to plug my camera into my computer. I still don't know where that is.

126

That's the number of posts sitting in my reader at this moment. No, I guess I'm not doing very well at keeping up with everyone. Sorry. I will catch up eventually. I think.

It's been a busy couple of weeks. While I got all my big stuff moved the weekend before last I had a lot of the little piddly stuff to move still. It didn't really seem like that much until I started moving it and then it seems like a lot. I'm down to the end but it's still going to be like 2 more trips. These are trips across town with no freeway, after work. Also last weekend when I had hoped to clean, it didn't happen. I had lots of fun but no cleaning. So that is in the plans for this coming weekend. Oh goody.

Last weekend I decided it was time to get some clothes one way or another. I was down to having not much other than my scrubs that fit. So shopping I went. I hit a thrift store but I have to admit that I HATE shopping at thrift stores. It's not that I don't like used stuff it's that I can't stand looking through racks and racks and racks of stuff for a few things that might fit. Maybe it brings back flash backs of my childhood where my grandmother would take us to Value Village and spend like half a day there. Or at least it felt like half a day. At any rate I didn't find anything at the thrift store. I did however stop at Old Navy looking for long sleeve t-shirts. They were having a sale and I ended up getting several long sleeve shirts and several short sleeve shirts and 2 pairs of pants for less than $60. That was awesome. Both the good buys and the fact that I was able to buy things at Old Navy for the first time ever. It's a great feeling to be able to shop at places I never could before. It's a great feeling to have so many people notice the weight loss too. I've been getting a lot of people who don't recognize me at first. Including the bitchy nurse who was one of my tormentors when I worked nights before I switched departments. I saw her at work the other day and she just glanced at me and didn't realize it was me.

Work has been boring and stressful. Monday one of my co-workers got mad at me because I wasn't helping her by doing her lab draw although she hadn't asked me to do it etc. I guess I'm just supposed to know what she wants me to do. The problem is that this is someone I really like but she has been in a perpetually bad mood for a very long time and has been taking it out on everyone around her. Sort of makes it tense at work. In addition to that I'm more than a bit bored lately with my job and I'm tired of working 5 days a week. I know. Lame things to complain about but I miss my 12 hour shifts and having 3-4 days a week off. But it's work and at least I do have a job. In addition to all of the tension at work I've been feeling more than a little bit down lately. The only reason I can come up with for that is the change of seasons. I've had problems with Seasonal Affective Disorder in the past and it's getting dark much earlier now. By the time I get home and changed and head out to take Sadie for a walk it's already getting dark. Then to avoid the down feeling I read. Up side is that I really like reading and have been reading some really good books. Down side is that not a lot else gets done.

I still have a rash all over my arms. Todays visit with the Rheumatologist has a possible diagnosis of a type of psoriasis which goes with the diagnosis he gave me last year of psoriatic arthritis. It also does sort of explain the rashes that I've had off and on for like the last 20 years. That usually appear during times of stress. Like for IVF cycles. Possibly the rashes I kept getting while cycling weren't an allergic reaction but a form of psoriasis.

For the most part none of this is as bad as it probably sounds here. I'm doing ok. Sadie is doing great and the cats are too. We're all fine but my head is perpetually busy. Sort of tiring really. Good news is that at 22 weeks post op I am down 85.5 pounds and feeling great. At my doctors appointment today my BP was 121/74. So I really am doing pretty good. It's all a matter of perspective.

Unplugged

Or I was. I ended up getting almost all of my move done on Saturday. Except of course the internet. That didn't happen until today. So I've been pretty much without much of an internet connection since Friday. Now I'm all hooked back up again thank goodness. I got everything moved but I'm so far from being unpacked it's not even funny. This weekend I have to go work on cleaning the old place. Oh goody. There's not a whole lot going on here. Work is a bit busier and I'm running back and forth a lot between 2 apartments etc. Today was a hard day at work. One of my co-workers sister had surgery yesterday and had complications over night. Today they took her to surgery again but she passed away. I think we all took it sort of hard because we're so close in our unit. It also makes you want to remember to tell all your loved ones you love them. It also reminds me anyways that even the most minor procedures have risks.

Tonight I'm thinking of L and her whole family, hoping that they are able to find some peace. I'm also so thankful for the blessings I have.

Fall's Coming!

Yay!! It's actually a bit chilly here. When I got up at the ass crack of dawn this morning to go for a walk with Sadie and my neighbor I had to put on long pants and a sweatshirt. The sweatshirt is also now HUGE on me and I swim in it but it's the only coat like thing I have right now so it will have to do. And to think that not that long ago it was almost too small. I think maybe I need to go to Disneyland to get a new one.

I'm getting to that point of not having many clothes again. Which is a bummer if you have no money to shop. Oh well. Eventually. I did buy a new pair of jeans (for less than $10) a few weeks ago that should fit me most of the fall/jean wearing season.

I've been going a bit nuts lately trying to figure out where my social security card is. I am sure I put it somewhere safe but hate when I manage to put something in such a safe place that I can't find it again. So I probably need to go to the SS office sometime very soon and request a new card. I figure my chances of that showing up before I go to court at the end of the month are slim. Dang.

Two walks in today and the evening walk was even froggy free. Yes Bleu I got your message and I will try to keep Sadie from biting the frogs. Problem is that the little things are freaking everywhere around here. I'm sort of hoping they are less plentiful at the new apartment.

Today was such a slow day at work which drives me a little bit crazy. I hate trying to find work to keep me busy and I can't afford to take off and leave early. I did though have a bit of a giddy afternoon though thanks to high lights at lunch. I ran into the cute guy (the one I had lunch with a few weeks ago) at work in the cafeteria and he came up and gave me a big hug. I had to really fight to not become a stumbling stuttering goofball at that point. Just think if I get that giddy over a hug from some cute guy or another cute guy coming up to my office just to see me and say hi and how good I look (that happened yesterday), if I ever actually get to have sex again I might spontaneously combust just from the excitement and anticipation. Yes I am aware that this is possibly a bit sad but I'm excited over little things. I can admit it. I also ran into the friend of the nurse I used to work with who was so fucking horrible to me (and everyone else). He was telling me how great I looked and all I could think was yeah, go tell her. Petty but I can admit to being petty from time to time too. She was a bitter old bitch who wanted everyone around her to be as miserable as she was.

Otherwise it's been a mostly good week. It seems to be going slow for a short week but it's over after tomorrow which is good. Yay for weekends. And not having to get up before 6 in the morning.

Walks and Laughs

So our daily walks are fun. Me and my friend walk together and she takes one of her dogs and I take Sadie. Sadie usually tries to just ignore her dogs and mostly succeeds. We get lots of laughing in and last night was no exception. Usually at night Sadie is hunting for frogs. I have no idea why she keeps doing this but she keeps doing it. I think it's because they move. She see one and try to grab it with her mouth by biting it. I'm not positive (never bit a frog) but I'm guessing they don't taste that great because she will spit it back out and sputter a bit. Then within a few minutes she is foaming at the mouth and drooling profusely. I try to keep her from doing it but she seems to find them daily. So last night while walking to try and save the froggies I was doing our little where's the kitty game. If I ask her where the kitty is she'll start looking for it even if there is no kitty anywhere near by. So I asked her "Sadie, where's the kitty?" and she immediately bounded into the bushes looking for a kitty. A couple seconds later a kitty shoots straight up in the air out of the bushes. Ooops. It was so freaking funny because she was so excited to have finally found a kitty and we were so surprised because we didn't know there was actually one there. I wouldn't have let her chase it or scare it if I had known it was there. We almost fell over laughing though over her excitement and the look we got from the cat. Funny thing is that when I'm home and I ask Sadie where the kitty is she will run right past the cats never bothering them to look for the kitty.

I have to say that one of the best things about my furbabies is that they make me laugh every day.

Dreams

I hate having the alarm clock wake me up in the middle of a dream. If it's a good (or great) dream I don't get to see the ending (yes dreams are often like movies in my head) and if it's a bad dream it wakes me up with a yucky feeling that can just linger. This morning (which happened at the ass crack of dawn!) it was in the middle of a yucky dream and it still feels a bit like that feeling is lingering. My dream was about the old religion I was raised with and standing up to my mom that I didn't like it and didn't want to do it. In the dream I was younger and dependant on my mom but old enough to be independent and I had finished nursing school I think. Yet I was going to church with my mom and she was making plans for after church to spend the rest of the day going door to door (preaching, I HATED this when I was younger) and I finally stood up and said "No, I don't want to do that." In the dream she kicked me out of her house quite publicly. In real life I was well into adulthood before I ever finally stood up to her and didn't live with her anymore so she couldn't kick me out of her house but lets face she has pretty effectively kicked me out of her life. Every so often I have similar dreams about her, being abandoned by her and her involvement in her religion and it still just leaves me feeling so alone.

Outside of that yuckiness I woke up to this morning I had a nice 3 day weekend. I got most of my packing for my move done and am now tripping over boxes. I've been sewing on some more blankets and I may have even found a local craft fair that I can participate in. That would be really nice. I've been out twice a day walking (with Sadie) which has been good too. I will say that having her back has really improved how much I exercise. My summer exercise plan hasn't been great as it's been so hot but having Sadie here means that hot or not, I'm still going for a walk twice a day. She doesn't care if it's hot, she just wants to go outside and sniff stuff and possibly chew on a frog or two. Which is really gross. Every night we come back in with her foaming at the mouth and drooling profusely from biting frogs. Poor frogs. This morning I actually got up at 6am to go walk with my neighbor. At first we weren't taking her dogs with us but we finally started giving it a try. The first time wasn't a success and Sadie still seems to be somewhat dog aggressive. She is fine with the cats but not so much around other dogs. However lately she's been ok with the neighbors dogs. She sort of just ignores them. Whatever works. It's going to suck us not being right next door anymore but they will be moving about a mile away from where I'm moving. We've become really good friends and I know we'll keep working to keep that friendship. We'll just have to go a little further.