Yes, I am a bad blogger. Not only do I not post but I haven't even been reading much lately. So much has been going on too. The neighbor mentioned in the previous post did claim she forgot. We got together a few weeks later but then she's also canceled on me a few times with short notice. I guess if I want to continue the "friendship" I will accept or expect that she's not as invested in pursuing things.
I've also moved. Yes, again. I gave up my view for more space. I was going a little bit crazy in a one bedroom apartment. I found a condo close by (I'm still less than half a mile from the beach) that is two bedrooms and it has a garage. It also has stairs which my knee doesn't always appreciate but my cats do. They love running up and down the stairs. I also could potentially still fit a longarm quilting machine somewhere into the space, especially since I just moved my bedroom into the smaller room and my sewing room into the master bedroom. I still find myself really wanting to give starting my own business a go. Even if it's only a part time business. I may have even found a machine. It's an older machine but it's also priced accordingly but heck, they are built to last longer than cars. It would be a good starter machine and I could always trade up later if I got my business off the ground and if not, then I didn't spend so much on it that I can't justify keeping it for my own use. My bankruptcy was paid off in January and finally discharged in May. I'm done with it. Yay!
Emotionally I'm still struggling. I had went up on my anti depressant about a year and a half ago and then I cut back my dose in December due to not being able to get into a Dr. in a timely manner to get it refilled. Since then I've seen a Dr (who I didn't like at all) but when I tried to go back up on my dose the insomnia hit pretty bad. I'm thinking though that I may have to give it a try anyways though as I'm just struggling so much. I love where I live yet I'm so lacking in energy and so blah that I rarely motivate myself to leave my house on days off. I'm also so tired of constantly being in pain. I can't say that it's unbearable pain but it is nearly constant. I did try acupuncture a couple of months ago but at $75 a week it is not really in my budget. I'm tired of being in pain and having every medical person I see make light of it. I do like for the most part the rheumatologist I've been seeing here. He doesn't think I have rheumatoid arthritis however interestingly for the first time ever I now have a positive ANA which does indicate possible an auto-immune issue of some type. It's funny since I've had that tested numerous times before and it's always been negative.
Another factor has been thinking about my mortality. Odd maybe but I had a coworker pass away a couple of weeks ago and it has hit me pretty hard. Partly because even though I didn't know her well she was a great person who I really liked. Plus it made me more aware of my isolation. I found myself wondering what would happen and who would tell my loved ones since I'm very much alone here. I'm guessing that since on my job, apartment and any other paperwork I've filled out I've listed the same two people as contact people that if something did happen they would be contacted. I have discussed my health care wishes with both of these people and have an advanced health care directive listing them as contacts and people to make decisions for me if I'm not able to make decisions for myself but I guess I need to take it a bit further. I think I need to put in writing what all of my wishes would be for myself, my cats and belongings and make sure those two people have copies of it and phone numbers for various people in my life who would need to know.
School is still on hold. That was frustrating and a relief all at once. I just didn't have the cash up front in April to sign up for the next class I needed. Last year that class was offered twice during the years so I wasn't really worried about it, I figured I would take it in September. However this year is of course different. They are only offering it once and I missed it. Oops. So, next year I need to start getting it figured out in like February so I can be ready to take my last three classes and finish this damn degree once and for all.
So that is a very short version of my life lately.
I've also moved. Yes, again. I gave up my view for more space. I was going a little bit crazy in a one bedroom apartment. I found a condo close by (I'm still less than half a mile from the beach) that is two bedrooms and it has a garage. It also has stairs which my knee doesn't always appreciate but my cats do. They love running up and down the stairs. I also could potentially still fit a longarm quilting machine somewhere into the space, especially since I just moved my bedroom into the smaller room and my sewing room into the master bedroom. I still find myself really wanting to give starting my own business a go. Even if it's only a part time business. I may have even found a machine. It's an older machine but it's also priced accordingly but heck, they are built to last longer than cars. It would be a good starter machine and I could always trade up later if I got my business off the ground and if not, then I didn't spend so much on it that I can't justify keeping it for my own use. My bankruptcy was paid off in January and finally discharged in May. I'm done with it. Yay!
Emotionally I'm still struggling. I had went up on my anti depressant about a year and a half ago and then I cut back my dose in December due to not being able to get into a Dr. in a timely manner to get it refilled. Since then I've seen a Dr (who I didn't like at all) but when I tried to go back up on my dose the insomnia hit pretty bad. I'm thinking though that I may have to give it a try anyways though as I'm just struggling so much. I love where I live yet I'm so lacking in energy and so blah that I rarely motivate myself to leave my house on days off. I'm also so tired of constantly being in pain. I can't say that it's unbearable pain but it is nearly constant. I did try acupuncture a couple of months ago but at $75 a week it is not really in my budget. I'm tired of being in pain and having every medical person I see make light of it. I do like for the most part the rheumatologist I've been seeing here. He doesn't think I have rheumatoid arthritis however interestingly for the first time ever I now have a positive ANA which does indicate possible an auto-immune issue of some type. It's funny since I've had that tested numerous times before and it's always been negative.
Another factor has been thinking about my mortality. Odd maybe but I had a coworker pass away a couple of weeks ago and it has hit me pretty hard. Partly because even though I didn't know her well she was a great person who I really liked. Plus it made me more aware of my isolation. I found myself wondering what would happen and who would tell my loved ones since I'm very much alone here. I'm guessing that since on my job, apartment and any other paperwork I've filled out I've listed the same two people as contact people that if something did happen they would be contacted. I have discussed my health care wishes with both of these people and have an advanced health care directive listing them as contacts and people to make decisions for me if I'm not able to make decisions for myself but I guess I need to take it a bit further. I think I need to put in writing what all of my wishes would be for myself, my cats and belongings and make sure those two people have copies of it and phone numbers for various people in my life who would need to know.
School is still on hold. That was frustrating and a relief all at once. I just didn't have the cash up front in April to sign up for the next class I needed. Last year that class was offered twice during the years so I wasn't really worried about it, I figured I would take it in September. However this year is of course different. They are only offering it once and I missed it. Oops. So, next year I need to start getting it figured out in like February so I can be ready to take my last three classes and finish this damn degree once and for all.
So that is a very short version of my life lately.
