You Just Know

When I got home from grocery shopping today I noticed I had missed a phone call from my little sister. I hadn't talked to her since about May and was surprised to see she had called. Before I called her back the thought came to me that she was going to tell me she was pregnant. I was right. She is 5 months pregnant and having a baby girl. I am very happy and excited for her, please don't think I'm not. I'm just so sad for me. I want to be pregnant too. The things that she was complaining about (she wasn't being insensitive) I would give almost anything that I have to have or feel myself. It's a sad thing how different all of this feels to someone who has a difficult time getting pregnant compared to others. I don't know if this was planned or not although I know she had a miscarriage back in January.
So I haven't talked a lot about my siblings but I do have them. A brother and a sister.
My little sister is 20 and lives in Minnesota. We were really close when she was very young but then when my mom and I started having problems over the whole religion thing we weren't allowed to communicate. Once she got away from my mom I started hearing from her off and on although I don't hear from her frequently. I guess it's just the normal busyness that happens to everyone although I do sometimes wish I heard from her more frequently. I also know that yes I could be the one to call more often too. I also got news on my brother which was a bit surprising. My brother is basically a drifter who is wanted in who knows how many states (come to find out he is a level 2 sex offender). I haven't spoken with him or heard from him in 10 years. I'm pretty much ok with this although I do feel badly for him as he had a very difficult beginning to life before my family adopted him at age 3. According to the Washington state web site he is currently incarcerated. Interesting. Sad too. Also apparently my mom has been asking my sister about me lately. I personally haven't heard from mom since February and that was a very short response to me telling her of my plans to become pregnant. Apparently she has been ok with my sisters pregnancy. Her thoughts on it are "I wish the circumstances were different but it's not the babies fault" That's a far cry better than the response I got from her about my plans. Her response to my plans was:
Thank you for writing and letting me know your future plans concerning a family. I'm sure you have given it much thought and weighed the pros and cons of such an arrangement. The key is that every child, no matter how conceived, is precious and needs a loving, nurturing environment with the right kind of guidance to help them get through life. The world's scene if forever changing and not for the better. Children need moral stability. They are so innocent when they are born and need all the love, care and discipline they can get.You have a full work schedule, so please also take good care of yourself.
I love you,
MOM
So this has left me feeling kind of weird all around. I am excited I'm going to be an aunt. I'm afraid that I may never get to be a mother (yes feeling a bit scared for whatever reasons). And I feel like my family is a bit loony. Oh and speaking of family. I never did hear anything back from my cousin about that dumb survey. Hmm. I think that's a good thing no matter how you look at it.
Yes, I'm aware I'm worrying and stressing over things that don't need to be stressed over.
In answer to K's question I got my meds from Fr**dom Pharmacy. And to Meg's comment, hey even my Hcg is sub-Q. And I think we are just going to do the progesterone suppositories. Fun fun. Maybe I'll get away with no IM shots.