Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Official
Beta result was 2. Officially not pregnant. I thought I was doing ok. Now all I want to do is go crawl back in bed and go to sleep. If AF isn't here by tomorrow I will start Pr*overa tomorrow, they said it could take 10 days. Shit. I'm supposed to call on CD1 so I can have the scan done and the meds ordered. Why do I feel so awful. I knew this was what was coming. I feel like I'm being punished for something and I don't even know what. I know this is a blip and nothing compared to what so many others have been through and I truly have no idea how you have made it through that. I feel like I'm falling apart when I wasn't ever really pregnant, just a little chemical blip.
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12 comments:
You'll make it tbrough, it just gonna suck for a while. No other way to put it. Sending you lots of ((hugs)). Take care of yourself.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I do not like the terms "Chemical pregnancy" "missed abortion" or any other. In order to produce HCG even of 6 you had an embryo implanting even if only for a moment. You also had the 2 lines, the excitement, the swell in your chest of hopes and dreams coming true. It hurts like hell to have that crushed.
I have had 2 m/c all after heartbeats were seen and they all sucked and hurt like hell. I also had a cycle with 3 false positive hpt's and it really hurt as well, a lot. I really think it is the dashed hope that crushes so much. I wish you gentle healing.
Shit. I am so damn sorry. I know what it is like to have your hopes raised like this... all too familiar. You will get thru all this... it is hard and it sucks, but now you know you CAN at least get this far! I wish I had a magic wand- You have always been selfless in helping me, if I could only return the favor now I certainly would! Love ya girl- A
I was sorry to read about your chem. pregnancy...it is so awful to want something SO badly and then to be teased with it like this. Hope you feel better soon!
Awww, sweetie, I'm sooo sorry. My heart totally aches for you so much. I wish there was something I could say or do to help you. We're all here for you. Treat this like a loss....it's nothing different than that. You went through a lot. I'm thinking and praying for you. (((HUGS)))
Its normal to feel so awful. You will get through it though. Your dream was within reach and then it was taken away from you, but I have no doubt about it, that you will have that dream in your arms soon!
Oh Michell... I am so sorry. I can't say it any better than those who have commented before me... I am here for you if you want to chat. Hang in there and you will be a momma here soon.
I am so sorry Michell. I am here if you need to talk. You know i'm up late..so dial my # anytime.
It's not a blip. This is a loss. And it's terrible. And it hurts a lot. I'm so sorry, sweetie.
Coming over from the Lost and Found.
I am so so unbelievably sorry. I just had a chemical pregnancy (like bleu I hate the term too) last weekend and it has completely rocked me. Take your day in bed if you need to. I tried to push it all away but finally realized that this is too a loss. Please take the time you need to grieve.
Again, I'm just so sorry. I wish there was something more I could do for you
That chemical blip was hope. And to have it taken away sucks. You get to mourn all you want. I hope you feel better soon! Hugs.
Well, there was an embryo in there, and no matter how small, it's hard to lose. Think of all the investment that went into it in the first place. No wonder you feel crap. Here's hoping you soon have reason to feel good again.
Bea
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