Good to know that there are still a few people out there. I still have so many days where I have stuff bouncing around in my head that I want to post about but then once I sit down I can't seem to put it all in writing.
So I'm still here, feeling a whole lot more human although if I spend a lot of time on my feet I still am uncomfortable. This worries me as I should be going back to work in less than a week if not sooner. Not sure yet how I will do with a 12 hour shift. Overall though it sure has been nice to not have a period. Granted the menopause symptoms seem to be kicking in some now. For the first 5 weeks or so I was cold so much that I didn't have too many hot flashes. The last week or so the hot flashes have been very frequent. So I'm guessing that tomorrow at my follow up appointment with the GYN we'll be discussing hormone replacement therapy. Also when I saw my regular doctor last week he started me on a second medication for the depression. I was a bit resistant at first but then it was like, why resist. The goal is to feel better. To not feel sad all the time and to treat a medical condition.
I did end up dropping my statistics class. I mostly just couldn't focus on it and it just didn't feel worth it. So I'll pick it up in May with the nursing program I'm in or maybe pay an arm and a leg for a local class here where I have a class to go to.
I'm trying to organize some more, get rid of stuff I don't need or use and generally clean up. It's funny to me the things that I have a hard time giving up. I've managed to gradually get rid of a lot of the stuff I had for my someday baby but there are a few things I'm still having a hard time giving up. Some of it I wish I had someone I could give it to that would love it as much as I did. Most of it I wish I had never bought. Live and learn I guess.
The week before last I sold the huge sectional couch I had that took up my entire living room and then some and bought a much smaller couch at C0stc0 which I like so much better. That whole trip to C0stc0 ended up being an interesting visit. When I was paying the clerk informed me that I was no longer an executive member and that if I upgraded again I would get a check for $75. I explained that the account was through my mom and that she paid the dues, I just got the second card. He started to tell me that I should discuss with my mom about upgrading again etc at which point I ended up just blurting out, she doesn't speak to me, She gives me one of her c0stco cards but she doesn't speak to me. Yeah, that was a little uncomfortable. This left me thinking that maybe it's time I got my own dang membership. For one thing for the last 4 years or so she has been getting the rebate on what I was spending and there have been several fairly big items in there. Plus I'm 42, I make decent money and can afford my own membership and if I did it I would never again have to have that conversation. Or the one where they were trying to look up my account when I lost my card and I couldn't tell them my mom's address, phone number, or even for sure how her last name was spelled. But as the guy at customer service pointed out today, heck it's free. Why worry. I'm not paying anything for it. The more I think about it though it's the idea of it. This is maybe my last string attached to my mom. Outside of this I have had no contact at all with her since 2006 and haven't actually spoken since 2005. We haven't been on good terms since 2000. This is mostly all her choice. I could possibly push things and have some sort of relationship with her but it would include a lot of toxic elements such as guilt trips, bad feelings etc and I'm not willing to let all that negativity into my life so that she will speak to me. If she can't accept me as I am an agree to disagree on the religion topic then I don't need someone to make me feel bad about myself, frustrate me or add unnecessary drama to my life.
So I'm still here, feeling a whole lot more human although if I spend a lot of time on my feet I still am uncomfortable. This worries me as I should be going back to work in less than a week if not sooner. Not sure yet how I will do with a 12 hour shift. Overall though it sure has been nice to not have a period. Granted the menopause symptoms seem to be kicking in some now. For the first 5 weeks or so I was cold so much that I didn't have too many hot flashes. The last week or so the hot flashes have been very frequent. So I'm guessing that tomorrow at my follow up appointment with the GYN we'll be discussing hormone replacement therapy. Also when I saw my regular doctor last week he started me on a second medication for the depression. I was a bit resistant at first but then it was like, why resist. The goal is to feel better. To not feel sad all the time and to treat a medical condition.
I did end up dropping my statistics class. I mostly just couldn't focus on it and it just didn't feel worth it. So I'll pick it up in May with the nursing program I'm in or maybe pay an arm and a leg for a local class here where I have a class to go to.
I'm trying to organize some more, get rid of stuff I don't need or use and generally clean up. It's funny to me the things that I have a hard time giving up. I've managed to gradually get rid of a lot of the stuff I had for my someday baby but there are a few things I'm still having a hard time giving up. Some of it I wish I had someone I could give it to that would love it as much as I did. Most of it I wish I had never bought. Live and learn I guess.
The week before last I sold the huge sectional couch I had that took up my entire living room and then some and bought a much smaller couch at C0stc0 which I like so much better. That whole trip to C0stc0 ended up being an interesting visit. When I was paying the clerk informed me that I was no longer an executive member and that if I upgraded again I would get a check for $75. I explained that the account was through my mom and that she paid the dues, I just got the second card. He started to tell me that I should discuss with my mom about upgrading again etc at which point I ended up just blurting out, she doesn't speak to me, She gives me one of her c0stco cards but she doesn't speak to me. Yeah, that was a little uncomfortable. This left me thinking that maybe it's time I got my own dang membership. For one thing for the last 4 years or so she has been getting the rebate on what I was spending and there have been several fairly big items in there. Plus I'm 42, I make decent money and can afford my own membership and if I did it I would never again have to have that conversation. Or the one where they were trying to look up my account when I lost my card and I couldn't tell them my mom's address, phone number, or even for sure how her last name was spelled. But as the guy at customer service pointed out today, heck it's free. Why worry. I'm not paying anything for it. The more I think about it though it's the idea of it. This is maybe my last string attached to my mom. Outside of this I have had no contact at all with her since 2006 and haven't actually spoken since 2005. We haven't been on good terms since 2000. This is mostly all her choice. I could possibly push things and have some sort of relationship with her but it would include a lot of toxic elements such as guilt trips, bad feelings etc and I'm not willing to let all that negativity into my life so that she will speak to me. If she can't accept me as I am an agree to disagree on the religion topic then I don't need someone to make me feel bad about myself, frustrate me or add unnecessary drama to my life.
3 comments:
I think just a few days can make a world of a difference with how quickly our bodies can heal, so think positive! Your body will be ready to go back to work, just take it easy and sit down as often as you can.
I wish I lived closer to you. Lunch dates would be fun.
By the way...I havent had contact with my 'Mom' if thats what you wanna call her, since 2005. Sad what they are missing out on....but whatever. We are better off.
Seems to me the cost of a Costco membership is WELL worth being free of your mother! Do it! Buy the membership and see how good you feel!
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