To beta hell. Todays beta is 12. I was told that it is still possible for this to turn out as a viable pregnancy, that they've seen it happen before. Excuse me for not holding my breath. I've been here and done this before. Continue meds and test again. I can't test on Friday as I have to be to work at 6 and work a 12 hour shift. I will test on Saturday and won't here the results until Monday.
Right now I'm struggling. Struggling with feeling cheated and like the things I want so desperately in life are never going to happen.
I still have no internet connection at my house and won't until at least next Tuesday. I don't know if I will be checking in again before then or not. I'm trying to just get settled in my house, unpacked etc. Hope everyone else is doing well and thanks to everyone for your good thoughts. I do appreciate all of it.
41 comments:
(((hugs)))
This just kills me for you. This is that hell place I sooo do not want for you hun.
I am here should you need anything.
oh beta hell...ugh! Will continue to hope & pray for you.
xoxo
I'm a lurker but love your blog. I've been reading this other woman's blog. Her story is not pretty in that she lost triplets due to extreme prematurity a couple of years ago; however, she did several IVF's after that and finally became pregnant. She is now nearly 34 weeks'. Anyway, her first beta was 8 or 9 and did not have the typical doubling rate. The doctors were grim.
Here is the blog address:
www.myspace.com/mcconathytriplets
You can go back and read about it from the beginning. I know you've been through this before and I'm sorry you have to struggle so much. It isn't fair. I also don't want to blow smoke, but she is one of those who has been there.
I wish you the best of luck.
Crap! So sorry. I've been there a couple of times myself. This is such a hard time.
I will be hoping and praying for you. ((HUGS))
Crap.
I am so sorry,
J
Thinking of you, sweetie and praying for the best. ((HUGS))
Hugs, sweetie. I will continue to keep my fingers crossed. Much love.
Ugh, I'm sorry for the beta hell. I'll be thinking of you and hope hope hoping for the best. Hang in there and take care of yourself...
Oh no, I'm so sorry. This is a horrible place to be. I'm sorry you've jerked around like this it really screws with your mind.
Damn. Sending you good strong energy. So sorry you couldn't have had an "easy" positive this time. Keep breathing deep.
Crap....not much else to say. I've been hoping and praying for better news today. Wish I was there to give you a hug. We're all thinking of you. (((HUGS)))
Well that just royally sucks. I'm sorry you're back on this rollercoaster. I'll keep you in my thoughts
I'm so sorry. I truly hope this turns into a skyrocketing beta!
Sweetie, I wish it could be easy. I wish it could be clear-cut. I wish the numbers were different. But right now, I am holding my breath for you and I hope to be dancing around the living room for you by next week.
I am so sorry. Like Mrs. Spock I understand your skepticism. But I am still praying for good results for you . . .
Oh man how I hate the hell that is limbo land. This just sucks. I'll continue to think good thoughts for you because that's all I can do.
Oh, I am so hoping that that number starts to rise and quick! You are in our thoughts.
Sending lots and lots of love and big hugs your way.
Oh how frustrating! And not being able to hear results until Mon. A real Beta hell.
Sending you a large hug, and still hoping for you!
I am still hopeful for you that it will happen... I am just sorry you are going to have to worry about it for several days. I am hoping you get awesome news on Monday.
Effin hell...sweetie, Im so sorry you are in this limbo. Wish I could come keep you company. Please know Im thinking of you--
Here from L&F. Crossing fingers for you!!
Ugh! I hope things look up after the next test.
I understand scared. Its hard to be in limbo.
A good friend just went through the same thing. Beta 1 was 4 (12dpo), Beta 2 was 37.6 (15dpo) but at 19dpo it was a whopping 349.
It is possible. Get your P4 checked.
I'm trying to do the math but I cant remember if you did a 3 or 5dt. But I think that makes this test either 12dpo or 14dpo, both of which are really early to say for sure.
I'm hoping for the best.
I'm sorry that you're in beta hell today. Its a really crappy place to be. Best wishes for great numbers on Monday.
So sorry you are in this hellish limbo. Wishing you peace over the weekend, and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm hoping that it works out....and the numbers begin to soar! I'm praying for you *hugs*
I just had my first beta at 7.9 Right there with you. You're in my thoughts & I'll keep checking back to see how you're doing. Hang in there.
Oh I'm so sorry this is going well. I'm hoping and dreaming that this turns around.
I'm so sorry.
Good luck.
(trigs)
My first beta was at 11dp3dt and it was 15. I'm 33 weeks pregnant now.
I'm wishing you all the luck of a doubling beta. Are you POAS? I did just that and watched the line get darker. It helped keep my nerosis at bay.
Hiya - since I can only guess what beta-hell means - I am crossing fingers and sending positive thoughts - hang in there....HUGS Bec
The feeling of limbo is miserable. I'm crossing everything for you. Hoping Monday brings you great news.
I'm so sorry you in this limbo. I'm thinking of you and hoping for a miracle ((hugs)).
12 is still positive. I'm hoping and praying that your poppy seed is sticking and the number was just early.
I am sorry that you are in such a place. I will be thinking about you and looking for your post on Monday.
Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you.
Dammit all to hell and back. I will keeping hoping and praying for a Christmas Miracle, it could happen.
Oh, Michell, you so deserve better. Sorry you're being tortured this way. You're in my thoughts...
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