Indecision

So yesterday I was fine with sitting the month of June out and not trying. Today not so much. I don't want to sit the month out. However it feels a bit like if I do try, I will be wasting my money big time as I would be trying an unmedicated cycle at home with no assistance. I have one vial of 280 left in storage which I could have shipped to me. If I was at home and could just drive up the road and pick it up, I would probably give it a go but since it's almost as expensive to ship here as it was to buy the vial and since I just don't have a feeling it would work, it feels like I'm wasting money. But I HATE waiting. I know, I need a patience transfusion. I know it makes sense to wait and to try to get hooked up with the fertility clinic here. And yes I will wait. But for today I'm feeling antsy, and lonely. Not really home sick although I am hating the heat here, yes Rajen I know it's probably hotter elsewhere but I still hate the heat no matter where I am. If I were at home and it was hot (it's not thought) I would still be bitching about the heat. However, I don't know what the nursing situation is like in Houston but I have considered that it would be fun to head that way in the fall just to meet all you people that I talk to online. I would love to be able to meet everyone, just a matter of how to get all over the US. I actually went to the pool and went swimming this morning. It was really nice. I should do that more often although I hate swimming suits too. Nothing like letting everyone see all the fat that I usually so carefully try to hide. And I went looking for a new bathing suit today and all I could find were 2 piece tank suit things. I wonder who got the idea that all plus size women would look good in a two piece because I sure don't. Well, back to house work and maybe I'll start a new book.