Well, I gave my two week notice this weekend. I had typed it out and given it to the night shift assistant nurse manager and also to the nurse manager. I offered to continue to work occasional on call shifts. This morning as I was leaving I ran into my nurse manager and asked if she had gotten my letter and she said no but she knew I had been unhappy for a long time and knew that I was looking. I mentioned the offer to stay on call and that was quickly refused. She told me their policy was that on call employees must have 3 years of full time experience first. Strangely I felt a little bad to not be wanted. Stupid probably but it just felt so final. I sort of tried to talk to her and she didn't really seem to have much to say but then she usually doesn't. This is a woman who in all honesty, terrifies me. I've been told that she is very nice but she seems so aloof I just never know what to think. I'm still trying to decide what to do about a second job. I can stay on at the other hospital that I'm an on call employee at (yes I know my job situation is insane, due to the need of a second job which I have had a very difficult time finding one that would work) continuing to do NICU and hope they use me more than I have been used lately. Or, I can try to get on doing something else in the hospital I work at. And I have 2 weeks to decide. It seems very weird to be leaving the hospital I'm at now again. I really truly like it there but just can't find what I want there.
Another thing I forgot to mention last week. I finally got a response from my mom in regards to the letter I sent her in December about my plans to have a baby. Nothing like taking 2 months to respond. It seems she spent a good deal of time trying to decide how to respond. The letter was very neutral. She was neither supportive or discouraging. My general impression was that she wasn't thrilled with my plans, but didn't want to burn any bridges with me which I have to admire. Lord knows she has burned plenty in the past and for her to show this kind of restraint is impressive.
I have decided to hold off on my next AI attempt until the end of June. That will be just a few days prior to my insurance picking up and I won't even know until after my insurance starts. I think the timing will be good. If my cycles continue as it appears to be on fertility friend then I should be doing AI a day or 2 after my birthday which is on June 20th and right now my estimated ovulation date is June 24th which will be the 13th anniversary of when my dad passed away. Getting pregnant at that time to me would be a good circle. I hate to wait as my impatience is always in motion but I know that waiting is what I need to do. So, I will wait. I may be crazy by June, but maybe it will help not taking care of babies every day at work. Now, if I don't go to bed, I will fall asleep at my desk.
6 comments:
I understand what you say about leaving a job, the finality of it. And about feeling a sort of rejection over not meeting their policy for "on call." But you're moving forward with your life and working for what you want in it. That's a very good thing!! Sorry your mom isn't more supportive. Your response to it is very mature and practical. Not sure I'd be so mature.
I can relate to having a boss you are afraid of. The principal at my school is like that. Sometimes I think her eyes glow red. I wish you luck and I think that you have aimed your focus in the right direction. Your plan sounds perfect. We have a connection...I will be doing and IUI on my dad's birthday. Hoping that brings me luck too.
Hey, I kept reading your blog - I got a link from northwestern (my user name is nulik117), but I never had a chance to comment. We have a lot in common, so I wanted to share with you my research on issues you had mentioned earlier, not in this entry.
1) use of antidepressants - both of my doctors said that one (preferably) should stop them 6 month prior to ttc.
2) in terms of starting exercises, etc. -the best thing is elliptical trainer, since it's does not put a pressure on your knees but is really really effective.
I'm really glad that you found this new job, it's the thing that matters.
Isn't it weird how we react to things? But I agree--it would be nice to feel wanted after everything you've given to the job. Now you can turn your talents to a new challenge (where they had better appreciate what they have, too).
Im so happy that you got a new job. Sounds like it was much needed and I hope you find yourself very happy and doing what you want. I understand your feelings with your mom. My mom has not contacted me in over a year. And I have no idea why. It saddens me, but it's her loss.
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