Ass Kicking

I feel like I've gotten my ass kicked this week. I broke up my days at work because I didn't feel up to working three 12 hour shifts in a row yet. Instead I'm doing two on, two off, one on, two off. It really sucks too. When I work all 3 in a row I can manage to schedule myself a stretch of days in a row off which is nice and allows me to feel human for a while. This week I haven't felt very much like I'm part of the human race. On my first night off I tend to stay up most of the day for various reasons. Today it was dealing with Lily and feeling guilty crating her when I've been gone all night, plus working on potty training. Other days its running errands or whatever. The down side is that on that first night off even though I stay up most of the day I don't often accomplish a lot as I'm so tired I'm hugely lacking in motivation. Exercise usually doesn't happen on days I work or worked the night before which is one thing I want very much to get better at even if its only taking Lily for a walk. Plus I'm cranky and basically feel like shit as I'm sleep deprived. So I lose a day there. Then when I go back to work I try to stay up late the night before and then sleep late. Which in the past has often led to 14 or so hours in bed as there is nothing insisting I get up. At least until now. I have to admit that I can't imagine working the floor on day shift. I don't think I could keep up. Already I'm starting to wonder how much longer I can manage doing bed side nursing. Between the arthritis, the fibro and my hands (which have numerous small cracks after 3 nights this week and lots of lotion) I find myself wondering how much longer I can do it and what else I want to do.
All I do know is that I find myself craving a schedule that is at least a little bit more normal while fearing disliking a completely normal (Mon-Fri) schedule like I did the last time I tried and considering the pay cut I'd end up taking if I went to a shorter shift on days.