I'm doing mostly ok. I'm still struggling with the emotional bouncing that is doing a cycle. I bounce back and forth between hope and hopelessness pretty regularly. On one hand I'm hopeful that this might work. On the other I'm afraid to hope too much and find myself thinking of things not working as a sort of defense mechanism. It probably doesn't help much that I'm not feeling great. I feel like I'm taking on water like a damn leaky canoe in a rainstorm and it's making me gain weight. I have canckles and it's also making my muscles and joints more sore which doesn't help either. It will be worth it though. It will. I keep telling myself to think positive and do the best I can with the diet etc and try not to stress so damn much. I'm now 20 days away from transfer and I start the Vi*velle on Friday.
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Maybe It's The Hormones
So maybe it wasn't the Benadryl. Maybe it's the hormones. Cause last nights dream was equally bizarre and alarming although thankfully didn't include babies in any form, not even swinging by their teeth. I dreamed I was kidnapped by a group of guys who had a bunch of women who were their sex slaves. They told me they would torture me at first to make me compliant. Hmm. Maybe from the book I'm reading? I'm reading The 19th Wife which is really interesting although there are parts where it's talking about the treatment of women that make me mad. At any rate I hadn't taken any meds so it wasn't that. I did also figure out a solution to the lack of a CD player. A fan. I don't know why I had to have someone point that out to me (maybe because it's February?) but that created enough "noise" that I was able to fall asleep fine.
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6 comments:
I always had really bizarre dreams while on hormones, it's actually a very common side effect. Not a fun one but a common one. Just wait when you get pregnant you have them too, again they are due to hormones. Mine never had anything to do with babies either usually they made no sense at all ,were scary or just plain weird. Hang in there.
It sounds like you are becoming a victim of surging hormones. Between the dreams and the emotional teeter-totter, I bet hormones are the culprit.
If you seem to be on a hopeless swing, remember you have a ton of us out here hoping, wishing and praying for you. You are never without hope for this cycle!
Raging hormones will give you the most bizarre dreams. Happened to me all the time.
I always hated that see-saw between hope and no hope. It drove me insane.
Hope the dreams get better. I've never had them, but they sound bad!
Can't wait for your transfer!!
That sounds like a horrible dream!
You are getting close! I am excited for you!
It will be worth it!
And ooh, what wierd dreams :-)
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