Long Weekend Ahead

And not necessarily in a good way. Last night I received an e-mail that indicated a possible hitch in the FET plans. A possible really big hitch. A hitch that has left me reeling a bit and trying my best to maintain as much of a sense of calm as possible and to not spend to much time thinking. I've only been mildly successful at that. I tried to call the person I would need to speak with at my clinic this morning and wasn't able to reach her but left a message that it was urgent I speak with her. I spent the drive to work worrying about what if she calls while I've got a patient and I really need to speak with her. Right after I got to work one of my friends came in and asked how I was doing which was sufficient to send me completely over the edge into a complete stress melt down. 45 minutes later I was still crying, had e-mailed my doctor and had developed a raging headache and was realizing that there was no logical way I was going to be able to see patients today. I wasn't very inspiring of confidence. Most everyone in the office at that point had seen me crying although not everyone knew what I was crying about. I finally told the charge nurse I had a splitting headache (not a lie at this point) and went home. I took something to help with the headache and laid down to wait for the much anticipated phone call and promptly fell asleep for the next several hours which isn't surprising as I didn't sleep much last night. By that time it was too late to reach much of anyone at my doctors office. I plan to try to keep busy this weekend with reading or whatever it takes to keep my mind of the possibilities and I struggle to get past my urge to expect the worst yet and to not give in to hopelessness. I can use some good thoughts that somehow it will all end up working out ok at this point and the FET will actually take place.