I don't know if anyone noticed I had hid my blog for a while or not. I had a job interview a couple of weeks ago and decided that I didn't want to chance them searching out my blog. Now that's over and I didn't get the job so I can make it public again although honestly I don't know that I'm that much more likely to post here very often.
The job interview was in Sa*nta Bar*bara. That place I spent 3 months back in 2008 and LOVED! I was really excited for the interview and very disappointed when I didn't get the job (I didn't have enough experience, they told me to get some more experience and try in a year or two). However I find myself feeling a bit ambivalent about it. There were things I liked and things I didn't. I love the location. It's sort of a dream to consider living there. However it's seriously expensive. Yes I could afford it, but I will never be able to afford the amount of space that I have here. Basically I'd be paying double for less space. If I move there I can mostly kiss goodbye my dream of owning a long arm quilting machine as it's unlikely I will ever be able to afford enough space needed to have one. Also as much as I liked that hospital as a travel RN doing med surg I'm not sure what I think about it working NICU. Where I am now is a big unit. Big enough that we always (even at night) have at least an NNP and some residents available with a doctor close by. They don't have that. At night it's just the nursing staff. Which feels intimidating as it seems there could be a lot of liability issues. That part is scary. I like where I work. I like the resources we have and most of the people I work with etc. The unknown is scary. So, not only do I not know what is going to happen (will I try again in a year or so?) but I don't know what I want to happen which leaves me feeling uneasy.
School is still school. I finally passed statistics. I'm nearly done with another class and once that's over I have 4 classes left. Then I'm done and I truly don't think I will ever go back for any further degrees. I still really struggle with even wanting to do the work I'm doing now. I don't enjoy it, it doesn't feel like it's something beneficial. It feels like I'm jumping through hoops trying to get that extra letter added behind my name. That said, I don't want to end up stuck working in a nursing home ten years from now because I didn't finish this and I have 4 classes left. I should be done by the end of February. I hope.
That and my bankruptcy should be paid off in a little over a year and maybe then I won't feel so much like I'm under someones thumb and answerable to someone else. Or maybe I still will. I don't know.
Even with all the unknown, basically life is good. Sometimes frustrating and annoying but good. I have a lot I enjoy and a lot to be thankful for. Once in a while I get a twinge about not having children, then I spend a night at work with a screaming baby and think "Yay! I don't have one of these at home!!!"
The job interview was in Sa*nta Bar*bara. That place I spent 3 months back in 2008 and LOVED! I was really excited for the interview and very disappointed when I didn't get the job (I didn't have enough experience, they told me to get some more experience and try in a year or two). However I find myself feeling a bit ambivalent about it. There were things I liked and things I didn't. I love the location. It's sort of a dream to consider living there. However it's seriously expensive. Yes I could afford it, but I will never be able to afford the amount of space that I have here. Basically I'd be paying double for less space. If I move there I can mostly kiss goodbye my dream of owning a long arm quilting machine as it's unlikely I will ever be able to afford enough space needed to have one. Also as much as I liked that hospital as a travel RN doing med surg I'm not sure what I think about it working NICU. Where I am now is a big unit. Big enough that we always (even at night) have at least an NNP and some residents available with a doctor close by. They don't have that. At night it's just the nursing staff. Which feels intimidating as it seems there could be a lot of liability issues. That part is scary. I like where I work. I like the resources we have and most of the people I work with etc. The unknown is scary. So, not only do I not know what is going to happen (will I try again in a year or so?) but I don't know what I want to happen which leaves me feeling uneasy.
School is still school. I finally passed statistics. I'm nearly done with another class and once that's over I have 4 classes left. Then I'm done and I truly don't think I will ever go back for any further degrees. I still really struggle with even wanting to do the work I'm doing now. I don't enjoy it, it doesn't feel like it's something beneficial. It feels like I'm jumping through hoops trying to get that extra letter added behind my name. That said, I don't want to end up stuck working in a nursing home ten years from now because I didn't finish this and I have 4 classes left. I should be done by the end of February. I hope.
That and my bankruptcy should be paid off in a little over a year and maybe then I won't feel so much like I'm under someones thumb and answerable to someone else. Or maybe I still will. I don't know.
Even with all the unknown, basically life is good. Sometimes frustrating and annoying but good. I have a lot I enjoy and a lot to be thankful for. Once in a while I get a twinge about not having children, then I spend a night at work with a screaming baby and think "Yay! I don't have one of these at home!!!"
4 comments:
Sorry the job didn't work out but it sounds like it wasn't meant to be. Hang in there with the classes. You'll never regret it when you have finished. At least that is what I tell myself when I feel like quitting mine. Glad to hear from you, keep us posted.
I agree with the BSN seeming like just a few extra letters behind my name. I already have a BA, and this seems like a complete waste of time. I can;t say I am learning anything more. Ugh! But, I know I will need options in the future, especially if I have to stay working off my feet. Once I am done with this damn assessment class (WHY did I take this elective), I have a 1 credit religion and 3 credits biblical literature (I know, shoot me), then 2 more 8 week long nursing classes. I will be done in December.
Now, I do think I will immediately apply for a MSN in education, but I will wait at least 12-18 months to start. I want to be able to work from home teaching, mostly as a side job to my current one. I know teachers don;t get paid a lot, and I never really want to work in an office again. I am hoping to get in on the online education boom and teach 1-2 classes per quarter. I make a crap-ton at my current job, and want to be able to transition to part time teaching and part time writing once we've built and paid off a new house, have enough in retirement etc.
I'm happy that life seems to be coming along nicely. Sorry about not getting the job but you never know, better things around the corner.
I'm sorry you didn't get the job, but it sounds like there were pros and cons to both staying and going. Hang in there with school -- only 8 months left. Not even a year.
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