Planning the process

I'm a planner, I have to make out a plan for anything major I do and I usually do this way in advance, get excited etc and jump in, often not really following my plan completely. This works for me most of the time although it can get stressfull sometimes too.
My plan to become a mommy. I had talked about doing this before many times. I had told myself that I could do this and I would do it but had never really taken it farther than the idea that it was possible. Then this last spring I moved back home after a lonely year in California. I got a job that I have wanted for a very long time, and I bought a house. All of the sudden I realized that I had in line all the things that I had told myself I needed to do before I started working on becoming a parent. So was that the next step? I'm 36 so I don't feel like I can wait too long. However, as much as I always said that I would do it alone if I had to, I don't know if I ever really believed that it would actually come to that. As much as I've told myself that I didn't count on finding my soul mate, a part of me also sort of figured I would. While, it's still a possibility that I might someday, my biological clock is running down fast and I feel like I can't wait any more. I need to get started. So, I've decided to start this journey on my own and hope that someday I will find the someone I can share my life with or that I can continue to be content with my decision to go it on my own. I have many friends who are supportive and will add to the life of my child. I have "honorary" grandparents since there won't be any involvement from my mom likely. I have godparents that will act as parents if God forbid, I'm not able to.
I'm currently working on weight loss as I know that my weight would make my pregnancy higher risk although I can't decide how much I should worry or stress about it since my doctor told me she wasn't worried. When I first decided in August that I was going to do this, I had planned on starting to try June of 2007. Now, it's almost November and I'm getting anxious. In visiting a chat board of women TTC, there are so many who have been trying for months. I'm afraid what will happen if it takes me that long. Plus, I'm excited. I want so badly to be pregnant. I want to join that club of pregnant women who are waiting their nine months for their miracle. So, I've now moved my date up some. I am hoping to start trying in February or March. I would love to have a Christmas baby or a Thanksgiving baby. Partially because I'd love to have the holidays off. I guess I'll still have to wait and see. I've got a ways to go yet. I'm working on paying off bills and the weight loss and trying to get my cycles figured out so I know exactly when I ovulate, not just the week I ovulate. Hopefully this blog will help me write it all down and find a way to take it one step at a time.